This site reflects my thoughts and opinions. It does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of my wife, my kids, my fish, my cats, my dog, my car, or my computer. All rights reserved.  Subject to change without notice.   Enlarged to show detail.  Employees and their family are not eligible. Beware of dog.  As seen on TV. One size fits all. Hand wash only. Do not fold, spindle, staple, or mutilate. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only.  Void where prohibited. No warranties expressed or implied. User assumes all liabilities. Not liable for damages due to misuse.  An equal opportunity employer. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Quantities are limited. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Quality may vary.  No parking.  No Standing.  No Solicitors. No Spitting.  No Kidding.  Post No Bills.  No substitutions.  No one under 17 admitted. Keep away from direct sunlight.  Limited one per family. No money down. No purchase necessary. Cash and carry. You do not need to be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.  Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.   Breaking seal voids warranty.  Has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals. Action figures sold separately. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers.  For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models are over 18 years of age. Available in fine stores everywhere. Take a number please. Preservatives added to improve freshness. Safety goggles must be worn at all times. Hard hat area. Sealed for your protection. The buck stops here. Call before you dig. Add toner. Place stamp here or post office will not deliver. For external use only. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your physician. Use only with proper ventilation.  Sanitized for your protection. Avoid extreme temperature. Store in a cool dry place. Refrigerate after opening. Keep away from open flame. Avoid contact with eyes.  Wash, rinse, repeat. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.  Do not place near any magnetic source.  May be hazardous to your health.  We’re not in Kansas any more. Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go. Slippery when wet. For official use only. Not affiliated with with any government agency. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Trespassers will be prosecuted. No animals were harmed in the making of this film. No salt, MSG, or artificial color added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting. If symptoms persist, call 911.  The white zone is for passenger loading and unloading only.  Contents under pressure. Restaurant packaging, not for resale. Pull down, then tear up. Contents may settle during shipment.  Sign here without admitting guilt.  Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.  Driver does not carry cash. Auto pilot is engaged during flight. Substantial penalties for early withdrawal.  Slightly higher outside the continental US. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Other restrictions may apply. Your mileage may vary.