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Sex Offender Database Calvin And Hobbes Calvin and Hobbes is a cartoon strip (now retired, and one of my all-time favorites) that was conceived, drawn, guarded, and protected by a man named Bill Watterson. If, by some bizarre twist of fate, you're not familiar with Mr. Watterson or Calvin and Hobbes, here's a good place to start--It's a magical world, and we really need to explore it, dontcha think? Graphics The graphics that populate this site, to the best of my knowledge, are all in the public domain and can be freely glommed onto and used by anyone who wishes to use them. The badges are scans of badges that I carried during my law enforcement career. Real maple syrup comes from real maple trees. You may have heard of "Vermont Maple Syrup", or "Canadian Maple Syrup". Well, you can keep 'em. If I can't have real Ohio Maple Syrup made by Stan Hess on his farm in Ashland, Ohio, I'm not eating the waffle. Visit his site and order a bottle or two. You won't regret it.
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 Welcome to Lawenforcer.net. This site was, for a very long time, devoted to distribution (and re-distribution) of Windows Theme files of a military and law enforcement persuasion. Interest for that particular sort of thing has waned, and the theme files themselves are elusive. There are still links to theme sites, but my interests have changed, and I now seldom create original themes for Windows operating systems. There's lots of good stuff to pretty up your desktop now, what with everything on earth being "skinned". Where this site is headed is anybody's guess, but it will remain active. It's most likely headed to more of a personal opinion site for me.Some other things are changed too. I used to affiliated with some Web Rings, but they're pretty lame now that Yahoo has taken them over. Nothing against Yahoo here, but it's just not the same. I had a "guest book" for a long time, but it got signed about once every 6 months, and if you really want to communicate with me, just e-mail me. I had a counter placed on this page too--it's now gone. No point in it that I could see. I remain affiliated with Ultimate Paint. You can download their Freeware version here, and their Shareware version as well. This is one dandy image manipulation program. Sports George Mitchell is a weenie. Bud Selig needs to get a real haircut and a new tailor. These fart-knockers aren't worth the time of day. As for my Giants--well, let's just call the next few years the "Lowered Expectations" era, OK? One More Thing........Just because they call it the "World Series of Something" doesn't make it a sport--case in point is the World Series of Poker. Maybe I haven't been clear--POKER IS NOT A SPORT. Don't make me come up there........ Drivel My best law enforcement stories come from my days driving a patrol car. Granted, the stories are always better than the real thing was, but I figure I'm entitled to embellish a little bit. For all of you out there who just can't wait to shed the uniform and become a detective (or, God forbid, go for promotion), remember that the real fun of this work is chasing bad guys with your hair on fire. Living life powered by adrenaline and caffeine isn't too bad at all. Notes From The Edge I laughed 'til I cried at rinkworks. Learn about the Internet at the Internet Beginner's Guide. Enjoy the ride. Travel in your immediate future? Worried about how dangerous your destination might be? Check out Fiedling's DangerFinder before you go. Better safe than sorry..... One of the funniest site I've been to recently (informative, too) is called Jump the Shark. It chronicles the actual moments when TV shows began their downhill slides. It's at http://www.jumptheshark.com. The term "Jump The Shark" is coined from the 1977 "Happy Days" episode when Fonzie water-ski jumped over a shark tank. And let us not forget to return, on occasion, to some VERY funny stuff at http://www.lileks.com. What the heck was that great song on that commercial, and where the heck can I find out who the artist is? Try this: http://www.songtitle.info/ Need a driver for that nasty little piece of hardware you just scored? Try http://www.driverguide.com. I've always liked Joe Bob Briggs. Turn in a crook and make a buck while you're at it at http://federalfraud.com/.
Boomer Links http://www.octanecreative.com/boomerbaby/ http://www.popculturemadness.com/ Being a boomer is such fun. Take a trip in the way-back machine at In The 70's. Every time I have a date, there's only one place to go....that's to the Drive-In!!
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I've never had a problem using Trend Micro's antivirus protection. I bought it, I use it, I recommend it. Trend also has a service that will allow you to scan your computer for viruses free of charge. It's available at http://housecall.trendmicro.com/. Screen Savers My understanding is that current monitor technology has eliminated the need for screensavers. Oh, hogwash--they're WAY too much fun to completely eliminate. Windows ships with some cool ones, but the best are the oldies. Johnny Castaway. After Dark. The goodies above have some issues running under modern versions of Windows, like W2K, ME, and XP. What will and won't work varies based on your OS and which saver you're trying to get to work. I just wish that my two old favorites (After Dark and Johnny Castaway) were updated. I'd buy new copies. I have a wireless network at home and keep a Windows 98 machine in the mix so I can use After Dark on it. It just doesn't seem to work on later versions of Windows. And, no, I don't much want to hear about the native superiority of any other OS-- 'Course, you always gotta be careful of the new "free" savers. They can be (and usually are) loaded with spyware and the like.
The United States Military God bless 'um. The News When, exactly, did "reporters" become "journalists"? I liked it better when "reporters" kept it factual, and had a modicum of decorum. A suggestion for Fox News Correspondent Phil Keating: If the look you were aiming for was "I slept under a bridge last night", then you're there. If, on the other hand, you want me to take you seriously, then get down to the Rexall, buy a comb and a brush, then go to your local community college and take a class in how to use them, OK? Television Eureka. SciFi. Thank God. 'nuff said.
I recently fled the general nuttiness of California and moved to America. I'd lived in Bakersfield, which was decidedly better than Santa Rosa, but was found lacking. The whole tribe moved to Youngstown, Ohio, a nice town with a bad reputation. We like it here. We've got nice neighbors and attend a beautiful church. We have an almost private entrance to Mill Creek Park, the most beautiful municipal park on Earth. There's a minor league baseball team here in town--the Mahoning Valley Scrappers, the class "A" affiliate of the Cleveland Indians. I miss being able to drive to Disneyland for a day. I really do. But other than that............
What I Think What do I think? Well, I think that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I think that we should buy American. I think that Mount St. Helens is gonna blow again. I think the curveball in a full count is cowardly. I think the price of bottled water is outrageous. I think the full moon really does bring out the weirdness in people. I think that there's a place in France where the women wear no pants. Correspondence On the odd occasion, a bit of correspondence is received regarding something that appears on these pages. Sometimes good, and sometimes bad. Recently received was an e-mail from a reader who took issue with my bloated pension and inflated benefits. I'd like to respond by stating for the record.......Wait--that beeping sound. Oh, it's the truck backing into the drive, laden with my pension and benefits.....................Gotta run........
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